Credit: CBS screenshot (6)

While Richard is off on the high seas drinking Mai Tais, Your Tais and Our Tais, I’ve been left to steer this week’s Bold & Beautiful Soapbox into port. And although I failed miserably in trying to be more positive when reviewing Young & Restless last week — man, was I harsh! — I managed to find a lot to like while evaluating Bold & Beautiful. Read on, and see if you were excited by the same encouraging changes that I was.

She’s a Maniac, Maniac On the (Second) Floor

OK, so Monday’s episode included some serious weirdness: No sooner did Electra get introduced to boyfriend Will’s dad than she told Bill the entire story of her ordeal with Remy. On top of that, none of them ever took a seat. They were still on their feet Tuesday! But I’ll give that silliness a pass because (1) I thought it was funny that Electra seemed about as traumatized by what had transpired earlier that (!) very (!) day (!) as I am when I realize I opened a white wine instead of a red, and (2) it was all to set up Luna’s infatuation with Will. (Not for nothing, but Lisa Yamada is as good at giving us that crazy-like-a-fox plotting expression as her character is terrible at hiding.)

When Push Comes to Shove

Other than all the exposition — even my memory isn’t bad enough to need it! — Monday’s episode was pretty terrific in that it solidified Ridge’s role as a supervillain. When Brooke explained the selfless, if senseless, reason that she’d taken the CEO job at Forrester Creations, he was a complete and total [bleep] to her: hypocritical, holier than thou and altogether slap-worthy. So I was thrilled that Brooke got a smack in there before she was done reading him for filth, using his own words against him — and “at breakneck speed,” too — and wishing him the luck he’d need with Taylor, aka “your second choice.”

The best part, though, was when Taylor entered the Forrester mansion as Brooke was exiting. Brooke couldn’t even be bothered to hiss at her rival, she just shoved Taylor the hell outta the way and kept right on going. Bravo! Tuesday added icing to the cake as Ridge, Taylor, Steffy and Eric sat around rehashing what had just transpired as if Brooke was a pro wrestler who’d put both of her “victims” in traction. Hilarious!

Now That You Mention It…

Tuesday’s episode poked holes aplenty in Bill’s cockamamie scheme to take Luna under his wing. When the world’s worst hider made a noise upstairs, Electra wrote it off as probably having been one of the many servants it surely takes to keep Bill’s mansion tidy. Only we never see maids and butlers, gardeners and cooks… so does he have any household staff? And if he does, even if Luna hides every time guests drop by (and are thoughtful enough to knock before entering), what’s to keep the servants from telling anyone who’ll listen that they’re suddenly cleaning up after a murderess as well as the boss? Maybe they’re used to that after Sheila’s stay at the mansion?

Bill’s long-term plan is also seriously flawed. He intends to have Luna serve out her sentence at his place, meaning what, exactly? For the next 20 to life, she’ll play hide-and-please-don’t-seek with busybodies on par with Katie? Good luck with that, bro. This line also gave me pause: Reiterating that he and Luna are not and never really were hot for one another, he said, “I looked at you like a daughter, and I still do. I always will.” Remarkable commitment, isn’t it? Especially coming from a guy who only recently looked at Poppy as a significant other and now would probably struggle to remember her name.

One Singular Scent-sation

Tuesday’s episode also introduced what may be my favorite character since General Hospital femme fatale Ava Jerome: Murielle Hilaire’s Daphne Rose. Her entrance was great; it felt like an event. And what presence Hilaire has! As the most famous perfumer in Paris — nay, the world — she’s gorgeous, poised, aloof, captivating. Sign her to a 100-year contract now, gang! She is a keeper. If Steffy wanted to point a secret weapon at Carter and Hope, she couldn’t have done any better than Daphne “I Don’t Do Appointments” Rose.

I tell ya what, too. I was so instantly enamored of Daphne that I am going to refrain from commenting on how tacky of “Cope” it was to reveal that she had shown up unexpectedly while they were in the middle of a meeting with poor Fanny. I will, however, note that the moment Daphne removed her scarf and waved around her fragrance while Carter and Hope sniffed in extreme closeups was over the top in the very best way. Is Bold & Beautiful remembering how to have fun?

Well, We Knew It Was Coming

Wednesday’s episode was one big game of “Who betrayed who?” which was to be expected, I suppose. What I didn’t expect (but maybe should have) was that the Forresters would still be clutching their pearls about Brooke’s “brutish” behavior toward Ridge and Taylor. Does Brooke not remember that Taylor had a heart condition? A heart condition! That [bleep] was unintentional comedy gold. So was Ridge recapping to Taylor, then stopping himself. “Why am I telling you this?” he asked. “You know this already!” You could all but hear the entire audience at home go, “For the love of God, yes! Yes, we know! Stop it! All of you!”

On the plus side, the episode gave us a lot more of Daphne, and knock wood, two shows in, and Bold & Beautiful hadn’t messed her up. She deliciously toyed with Carter when he called to seal the fragrance deal. “You’re intrigued by what I have to offer.” Who wouldn’t be? Extra funny was Hope saying at that very moment, “There is no telling what the future will hold.” Sweetie, there is telling, and what the future is telling me is that Carter will be, as Daphne predicts, putty in her hands. And why would the world’s most respected nose stick that very appendage in someone else’s business to seduce a guy who’s been insta-committed to someone else? In Daphne’s own words, that’s just “what friends do.” I. Love. This. Woman. [Bleep], I love her so much, I will give you several more pictures of her being c’est magnifique. You’re welcome.

TGI… Aw, Crap, It’s Not Friday Yet

Thursday’s episode was… eh, not my favorite. But it did include moments of levity, however unintentional they may have been. I literally LOL’d when Finn expressed his regret that he’d never gotten to know Steffy’s grandmother. Buddy, she would have heard any three words out of your purty mouth and asked Steffy how hard she’d had to search to find the biggest dim bulb in the medical profession. “Was Dr. Drake Ramoray not available?” we can just imagine the queen bee asking. It was also amusing to hear Steffy again detail her plan to whore out Daphne, which doesn’t seem to bother my favorite new character at all. Maybe she is blessed with a view of sex that isn’t straight out of the 1950s Bold & Beautiful rulebook. (Cue Katie going, “Well, I never!”)

I also got a chuckle out of Steffy interrupting Taylor’s night of nookie with Ridge to make sure she wasn’t coming home. How loud are Steffy and Finn? Sheesh. As for the aforementioned night of nookie, how fortunate was it that the dress Ridge gave Taylor was black. This Taylor seems altogether allergic to color of every kind. (Or was it very dark green?)

Over at Forrester, Hope attempted to buoy Brooke with talk of how Carter had spent untold years dreaming up Forrester’s expansion. “Untold,” because he sure never mentioned it on air. When Hope explained that her boo’s grand plan included OMG, “jewelry! Handbags! Shoes!” all I could think of was the classic AbFab line below. Also, how on earth is Hope taking a victory lap because post-coup “Forrester Creations is still standing.” Hasn’t it been like 48 hours? At most 72? That’s like me taking credit for losing a pound at 7 am that I’ll have gained back before I’ve even scarfed down my midmorning snack.

Friday’s episode, sadly, was a dud. We got exposition on top of exposition on top of exposition, endless Ridge dancing with Taylor to background music that only we could hear, Steffy and Finn foregoing sex in any of the many rooms at their massive house to do it on the couch where all their guests sit, and Brooke feigning shock that Donna overheard the dressmaker already asking his other occasional wife to move back into the beach house with him. Brooke, you don’t get to be even mildly surprised — this is who he is and has always been. And yes, I’ll say the same thing to Taylor when a month from now, Ridge dumps her and immediately shacks back up with Brooke. There is something serious wrong with Ridge, but there is also something just as seriously wrong with Brooke and Taylor, who jump through hoops to believe his BS time and time again. 

At least the end of the episode was exciting, because it included a tease for a plot I thought had been dropped ages ago — that Jack might be Luna’s father. Not only do we get Li raging at Poppy, but we also might end up getting Jack dropping in on Luna at prison, only to discover that she’s been what… misplaced? Maybe he’ll be next on the homicidal maniac’s hit list.

A Change’ll Do Ya Good

So there ya have it. All in all, a pretty solid week of Bold & Beautiful — and one that left me psyched about what’s to come. Maybe the show isn’t altogether different — I could do with approximately 200 percent less repetitive dialogue — but the changes that it has made have been arguably for the better/more interesting. Luna’s insta-obsession with Will promises to ensure that he and Electra won’t become the snooze that R.J. and the Luna-tic did (back when she was all sweetness and light). Despite the perfume she likes to wave about, Daphne is a breath of fresh air. (Carter won’t know what hit him!) And while “Tridge” 200.0 is sure to end the same way that that pairing always does, hopefully by the time it does, Brooke will have made good on her promise to move on. We’ve even curated a list of leading men with whom she could throw sparks.