Credit: Howard Wise/JPI (6)

It was a weird week for Bold & Beautiful thanks in part to the holidays. We have a lot to cover… including the fact that both of this week’s bit plots could have been resolved if people did what we’re about to do and talked! 

What Is Wrong With Taylor and Brooke?

Seriously, why would either of them want Ridge back? I don’t care whether you’re #TeamTridge or #TeamBridge, this endless storyline makes both Taylor and Brooke look pathetic at best and in need of serious help at worst. And not for nothing, but when Ridge literally told Steffy that Taylor was his “safety net,” I wanted her to give dear old dad the kind of lecture she usually reserves for one of the Logans.

“Excuse me,” I wanted her to say, “but my mom is not here to be your ‘safety net.’ She deserves better and, frankly dad, so do Thomas and I! Heck, if I’m being entirely honest, so does Brooke. I mean, I’ll never admit that aloud in her presence, but it’s true! You are a grade-A, first class jerk of a guy who deserves to be alone for the rest of his life, sitting in a corner and thinking about how his self-centered, libido-driven actions have completely destroyed two women and their offspring!”

A boy can dream, can’t he?

Wait… Is That Allowed?

For a hot second there, Hope was dropping truth bombs left and right. First, she reminded her mom that when it comes to Ridge dashing into Taylor’s arms, “this isn’t the first time it’s happened.” Sure, she didn’t get into details, but given that this show almost never allows characters to reference the rerun plots they’re caught up in, my jaw nearly hit the floor. She then followed that up by basically suggesting her mom and Ridge might not be one another’s destiny. Heck, she all but said, “Ma, you keep using that word, but I don’t think it means what you think it does.”

Not that Brooke was listening. Because two minutes later, she was vowing to win Ridge back by next Christmas. Lady, you just caught him canoodling with your biggest rival. Are you trying to catch a case of broken heart syndrome, too?

Bad Boy, Bad Boy… Whatcha Gonna Do?

Sometimes, Bold & Beautiful throws logic right out the window in order to move the plot forward. That was definitely the case with the Remy story this week. First, there was the weird way the scenes between Stalker Boy and Ivy played out. “Oh hi,” she exclaimed, “it’s nice to finally meet you!” He barely acknowledged his crush’s aunt, and she never introduced herself. My favorite part was watching the wildly underused Ashleigh Brewer as Ivy rolled her eyes and chugged wine while Remy fanboyed out.

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But then after Ivy ditched her niece — presumably to go back to the job Electra no longer has — Deacon sat down and promptly offered the key to Remy’s apartment so that the object of his obsession could freshen up. Um… they went out of their way to establish that Remy was in the kitchen cleaning the grill. Wouldn’t it have been easy to pop in and ask his permission?

But for whatever reason, the show was in a hurry to have Electra uncover Remy’s secret, so… logic be damned! That said, it seems likely that Remy will soon be on his way out the door, right? The show-ending scenes for next week showed him literally stalking her through what looked like a parking garage, and that doesn’t really seem like the kind of thing one bounces back from. Which leaves me wondering… what was the point of this story?

Can We Talk?

What’s particularly grating is that both of this week’s big stories depended on people not communicating. Katie refused to tell Will why she’d fired his girlfriend while at the same time dropping hints that maybe he should consider breaking things off with her. But here’s the thing: Katie presumably fired Electra to get ahead of any scandal which would arise if/when those compromising photos came to light. What if they never did? Would Katie still feel justified in her actions, both where the firing and her son’s relationship are concerned?

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Also — and I can’t stress this enough: Who cares Seriously, we’re one week away from 2025. Are we really supposed to think that a couple of nude pics (fake or otherwise) would bring about the downfall of Forrester Creations? And given that everybody in Electra’s hometown apparently knew about the deep fake nudes circulated before, wouldn’t anybody Googling Electra’s name find them? Meanwhile, two seconds after Katie finally showed Will the photos, he was able to deduce they were fakes. Why wasn’t she at least a little suspicious of them?

Questions, I have questions.

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Meanwhile, the really ridiculous scenario was unfolding around Brooke’s supposed betrayal of Ridge. Maybe rather than sit around fretting, she could fire off a quick text. “Hey babe, just so you know… I took the company over so I could get it back into your hands. Let’s talk.”

I mean, how hard would that be?

Then there’s Zende, fully aware of Brooke’s plan. And sure, he promised not to tell, but in what universe would he not see how things are playing out and say to Brooke, “Is there some reason you’re not telling him? Because this whole mess would be resolved if you told him, or let me do it.”

Call me crazy, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask that characters on a show which is all talk actually, you know, talk. (Which, apparently, is exactly what will happen next week. The big question: Will Ridge stop huffing and puffing long enough to hear what Brooke’s saying?)

Random Thoughts

• Anybody else notice that when Ridge and Brooke looked at their respective phones, the message she’d sent before aanouncing she’d be the new Forrester CEO — the one saying she needed to tell him something — was missing?

• The absence of RJ — who is half Forrester, half Logan — continues to be absolutely baffling. He has not even been mentioned in conjunction with the coup. Heck, nobody bothered to even mention him at the holiday party!

• In the past, Bold & Beautiful has sort of had everyone on the canvas say “forget whatever big dramas are unfolding, it’s Christmas and we’re all gonna come together and sing carols.” So I liked that this year, they realized there is no way in h-e-double-hockey-sticks that it would be possible for the Logan and Forrester families to come together. That said…

• Why hasn’t more been made of the awkward position this latest family feud has put Donna in? Yes, having Pam gift her with matching PJ’s was fun and all, but shouldn’t Donna have felt torn about not being with her girls?

• How weird is it that the Luna story is playing out only on Friday episodes? As with the other stories unspooling right now, I find myself wondering what the point of it might be. Are we supposed to think that Bill, who dumped Poppy for no discernible reason, is somehow feeling so connected to her serial-killing daughter that he’s going to get her released, maybe into his custody?

• It’s too bad that when Carter, Hope and Katie took a meeting about a Forrester Creations perfume, nobody bothered to mention the time Ashley Abbott came to town to create one for the company.